Words From The Frontline
By Dr. Satish Subramanian, MD
Last week my car was broken into in front of my house. I woke up in the morning and found glass covering a portion of my front yard and front passenger seat. My passenger side window was smashed and my work bag was stolen from my car. The stolen bag carried sentimental value as it was a gift from my father-in-law.
Along with many fellow physicians, I have made many changes to my day to routines to reduce risk of exposing my family to COVID-19. So I buried this bag at the foot of the passenger seat, hiding it under a dingy grocery bag. Now it’s gone.
In response to discovering my bag had been stolen, my six year old daughter asked “Why would somebody do this? Don’t they have good manners? They should have knocked on the door and asked if they could have your bag.” I simply responded, “hopefully there is somebody who needed the bag more than we did.”
In the hospital and in life, we physicians feel the negative downstream effects of COVID-19 on our mental health. COVID-19 has already ravaged our emotions, causing large amounts of stress on our departments and our hospitals. Many physicians throughout the world have had to play the part of disaster triage doctor, attempting to choose who medical resources should be directed towards. After these difficult situations, we are expected to move on with our lives and be okay to help the next patient. There may be counselors, debriefs and wellness committees. But these are really small bandaids for gaping wounds.
Physicians will also have to deal with the toll the virus will play on our personal lives. Not only are we separated from our family and friends, many of us have to figure out how our children are properly cared for while they are not in school. Homeschooling is something I never imagined doing between shifts in the ED.
During this time, it is imperative that we physicians take time to care for ourselves. Meditate. Journal. Exercise. Reflect. Vent to your friends and family. Vent to other physicians. Vent to your dog. Do not keep your feelings bottled up. Do not just move on after you suffer a devastating patient loss. Do everything you can to be aware of your mental health and when you do not feel right, please seek help!
It is also time that hospital rivalries and grudges between specialties are put aside. In my department, the pediatricians, neurologists, gynecologists and orthopedists, to name a few, have all leaned in to see patients during any potential surge. More importantly, we as physicians must unite not only to fight COVID but to fight the effects it will have on our emotions. When you see a colleague, ask them how they are doing and what they are doing to deal with the stress of the situation. Reach out to the most vulnerable physicians and keep them in close touch. If you see that a fellow physician is struggling it is not only your responsibility but your duty to get them the proper help and support. A large part of our army of physicians is going to struggle to recover psychologically from this terrible pandemic. As physicians, a “suck it up” attitude has prevailed in our thinking and mentality. But this is not the time and place for machismo and toughness. We are in the 2nd inning of an extra inning game (sorry to all of you baseball fans for the analogy) and we need a healthy staff of healthcare workers to fight this virus.
Despite being so early in this fight, I still see a light at the end of the tunnel. The community here in Los Angeles has really stepped up to take care of our hospital staff. Families in our neighborhood and our school community have created wellness bags to make sure our staff has snacks for work and products for home to care for themselves. I feel a lot of hope as I see that our doctors, nurses, EMTs, unit secretaries and janitors all smile at one another through our masks, using our eyes to make sure we’re all right. We as humans are resilient and when times are tough, we work hard for one another. I am optimistic for what our futures hold.
This issue is dedicated to Dr. Lorna Breen, M.D. a true hero of the frontlines in the battle against COVID-19.